


things we said

by leov66



Series: the modern au we deserve [2]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, ITS NOT MUCH I PROMISE, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mild Hurt/Comfort, a bit??, ah yes. my staple tags, mentions of depression, oh boy i love their love honestly, theyre so in love i cant!!!, what can i say tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 05:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11571549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leov66/pseuds/leov66
Summary: love is not cruelwe are cruellove is not a gamewe have made a game out of loverupi kaurmilk and honeya relationship told through what enjolras and grantaire say.





	things we said

**Author's Note:**

> [ this was inspired by a tumblr post ](http://robbersdjh.tumblr.com/post/114789651506/prompts-1-things-you-said-at-1-am-2-things). in the lord's year 2017. im not sorry.
> 
> set in the same universe as [ we're looking for (something dumb to do) ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11503671). there is no chronological order to the drabbles. might continue this.

45

"All I'm saying is that it's pointless, really, nothing changes at all, I mean-"

 

Sometimes, it's really nice to have a twenty-first-century revolutionary who's as dedicated to The Cause, whatever it is at the moment, as one could possibly be for a boyfriend. Sometimes, not so much. Especially when it's New Year's eve and they're just trying to celebrate it like normal people.

 

"Just be quiet for a minute and enjoy the moment, it's not that hard," Grantaire says and before Enjolras even gets a chance to finish whatever he's been trying to say, silences him with a kiss. It goes on long after the fireworks go quiet.

 

 

12

It's really late, Enjolras reminds himself when he closes his laptop and finally frees his hair from the messy bun it's been in for more than he's willing to remember. His eyes are tired and his hands might be shaking, but he honestly doesn't care, because he's finally done with the article and that means he's got the rest of the weekend off and he and Grantaire can spend _entire two days_ doing absolutely nothing. One glance at the clock and he knows he'll spend the next ten hours sleeping, though, but he doesn't mind since-

 

"I'm really fine, please, stop. I've got him and the rest I'll just figure out along the way, I promise."

 

It's Grantaire and he's on the balcony, probably talking on the phone with somebody, smoking and shivering in the cold because he expected it to be a quick conversation but it turned into something longer and deeper.

 

"I don't care, so jot that down. It's my life and my decisions and I don't have to explain myself just because you're worried about me."

 

He really didn't mean to eavesdrop, he's just _pretty fucking worried_ , that's all. Enjolras sits back on the same uncomfortable chair he's been sitting in before, except this time paying attention to what's happening on the balcony.

 

"No, no, I'm sorry, too, it's just...I love him, okay? I won't ruin this. Yeah, fuck, it's late, I know. Tell Gav I said hi."

 

Then he probably hangs up because everything suddenly goes quiet except for the calming sound of a cigarette being lit and a shaky inhale. Enjolras knows how much Grantaire despises being weak in front of him and doesn't move at all despite being filled to the brim with guilt and worry. Their romantic relationship is still fragile, only a few months of care and love and support against the years of passive agression and straight-up anger. He knows he won't be helpful at all. Resting his head on the kitchen table, he exhales for as long as he can until his lungs hurt. He wishes he was Courfeyrac with his understanding and kindness or Combeferre with his patience and calmness or Cosette with her empathy and warmth but he's not, he's just Enjolras with his pride and thoughtlessness.

 

He must've fallen asleep because the next thing he remembers is Grantaire's warm arms around him and being told to go to bed instead of sleeping on the table.

 

"Come on, dear, it's really late, you should- you're not even listening, you're still asleep, aren't you?" He can hear a chair shuffling right next to him. "You look beautiful like this, you know? Finally fucking resting. I could use that too, now that I think about it. Sleeping, I mean. It feels weird talking to you when you're asleep, but whatever, it's not like you could judge me for this."

 

His voice feels like home, in a way. It's oddly comforting.

 

 

 

2

There's definitely blood on Enjolras' hand and it definitely is the dumbest thing that's ever happened to him. It would've been way funnier if there wasn't so much of it and if it wasn't dripping on the floor.

 

"Are you busy, 'Taire?", he asks, as nicely as he can despite talking through his teeth because _fuck, it fucking hurts._

 

Grantaire walks into the kitchen, a mug of coffee in one hand and his phone in the other. "Not really, what's the- _holy shit, you alright?_ "

 

"I'm just peachy, don't you see?"

 

"Damn, no need to get all salty, Enj. It's nothing a quick trip to the ER won't fix."

 

They laugh all the way to the hospital, only texting Combeferre a vague 'u got a shift rn or' text just as they're leaving the taxi, but twenty minutes were enough for Enjolras to bleed through four layers of a very improvised bandaid (just little poor blood clothing things, he laughs but his face looks kinda pale and with the other hand he's gripping Grantaire's hard enough to stop any blood circulation whatsoever).

 

Combeferre, who's on hour twenty-three of his twenty-hour shift, looks like he might chop off Enjolras' hand if he gets his hands on anything remotely sharp.

 

"I swear on everything that's holy, if your husband ends up here for the third time this week, I'll have him divorce you and marry me instead. Take better care of him, R, it's not that hard."

 

"Listen, how was I supposed to know it'd be too much for him to _cut a fucking lemon_?"

 

 

14

Enjolras' world has become one person, one pair of grey eyes and one arrogant mouth a long time ago, although when said mouth is on his, it might as well be everything there is in the entire universe. It never fails to amaze him how it makes his worries seem small and pointless.

 

They're trying to do the dishes but it's hard when you're sitting on the kitchen table, laughing about a shitty joke and ocasionally kissing. Grantaire's hands are in his hair and he's so _warm_ against his body and his heart is bigger than his chest from all the love inside him. He feels like he's got everything he could have ever asked for and way more. If this isn't what home is, he honestly doesn't know what is.

 

"You're my everything," he whispers quietly when he's trying to breathe in. The light in Grantaire's eyes after he realizes what he's heard makes Enjolras tear up.

 

 

9

Once he opens his eyes, everything is going to be okay, he tells himself, and when he opens his eyes and nothing is okay, he tells it again, and over and over it goes.

 

Everything is too loud and too fast and too much even though he's not even outside. His thoughts are racing and his heart is pounding and his hands look like they aren't his anymore. He's crying, he realizes, but it feels like he's watching himself from another place because he can't even feel the tears. He cries and he puts his arms around him and it isn't enough because he's still shaking. He's so weak it makes him sick to his stomach.

 

There's a small sound, keys unlocking the door, and then Grantaire walks in, his expression tender and gentle as it always is. He doesn't ask questions, knowing sadness like a dear friend himself, instead he holds his hand and kisses his hair and holds him and lets Enjolras feel his heartbeat until he's breathing again.

 

"This is temporary, I promise. All of this will pass, I don't know when but it will."

 

 

 

34

The rain is gently patting against the window and its smell has long since filled their room. Enjolras feels like he's full of energy despite the late hours and watches Grantaire sleep. His hair looks soft to touch and, a moment later, he realizes it is soft to touch. His steady breath is calming to listen to and his hands are gripping the covers with surprising strength.

 

"A little bit of red, to bring out his eyes, some grey for the shadows, black's too harsh, he's too soft for this, it'd ruin it," he mutters, obviously still asleep. Enjolras smiles and continues petting his hair.

 

He posed for him, once. Posed purposely, that is, because there were many sketches of him lying around, except that one he was aware of being drawn. He did fall asleep halfway through, though. Grantaire laughed at him and apologised for keeping him up, but upon seeing the final piece, it didn't matter at all. There was so much love and adoration and _gentleness_ behind the lines that it made Enjolras sad yet again that he's never been particularly interested in drawing. Words were bound to fail him one day, but art always spoke for itself.

 

 

16

"I'm all yours," Grantaire whispers, his voice breaking but his smile the happiest he's ever seen.

 

"And I'm all yours," Enjolras whispers back, unashamed of the tears in his eyes.

 

There are rings on their fingers and it's a beautiful beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> **kudos and comments keep me motivated**
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> 45) things you said at new year's eve
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> 12) things you said when you thought i was asleep
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> 2) things you said through your teeth
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> 14) things you said after you kissed me
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> 9) things you said when i was crying
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> 34) things you said in your sleep
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> 16) things you said with no space between us
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> i have got a [ tumblr ](https://euphra-sie.tumblr.com) :) feel free to hit me up!


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